#geraskier meta

[sacred-algae]

I don’t think Jaskier is fully aware of the fact that Geralt is It for him.

I know we aren’t getting Geraskier, (they’re still canon to me) so at this point I just want my blorbo to be able to move on and be happy instead of fucking miserable but the more I think about it, the more I realize that even if he does get chance to be with Radovid… I don't think he would ever be truly happy.

Yes, he could love him, and be happy that he's being treated well, and worshiped and valued, and everything a good relationship should be. Yes, he'd learn to move on as much as he can… but that’s only as much as he can. Geralt will always be with him. Geralt will be a filter for which he perceives affection and how it's given out and received. Everything will relate back to him.

Geralt is love for Jaskier.

It would be doomed. As much as he could learn to love somebody new, it would take far too long to be fair, and even if Radovid fully understood and stuck around because he knew Jask was trying and didn’t mind, even if Jaskier does love him—It’s doomed.

He couldn’t do it. Because everything they do reminds him of Geralt even though they weren’t even together… but he can’t escape it. It could even be years down the road with zero contact with Geralt (because that’s the only way he could truly even begin to move on) and he would be miserable.

So he’d leave Radovid. Because it’s not fair. And he’d decide he’s better off having one night stands and casual affairs that last no longer than a month for the rest of his life.

And maybe he’d go back to Geralt. Because he sure as hell can’t live without him if the past however long it’s been has taught him anything.

Geralt would be so mad at him for leaving but it’s not like they haven’t gone a long time without seeing each other/not contacting each other before. It’s just been a while since then… And Geralt needs him too, how could he say no? He missed him horribly.

And I think at that point, Jaskier would tell him why he left. Geralt deserves to know. Because at this point, if Geralt will take him back, what’s unrequited love? It doesn’t matter. He should have known it wouldn’t matter. And really, he should have done this a lot sooner, maybe he could have gotten some fucking peace—

“You should have.”

“I should have what?”

“You should have done this sooner.”

“Yeah, that’s literally what I just said. Why are you— Geralt? What are you— Gods, that’s unfair, don’t look at me like you’re about to—”

Kiss me.

He should have done this much, much sooner.

[inanoldhousewrites]

Geraskier makes me a little bit crazy because over the three seasons, it changes so much, but it's not very noticeable from an outsider's view.

Season 1, Jaskier is in love with Geralt, but Geralt is not in love with Jaskier, but Jaskier is trying to change Geralt's mind. He's optimistic. He keeps giving little lead-ins: "and yet here we are," "we could go to the coast," etc. Geralt never even looks that direction and in the end sends him away.

Season 2, Geralt is not in love with Jaskier, and Jaskier has decided not to be in love with Geralt. He's still his friend, that's inarguable, but he holds him at arm's length. He doesn't push in to be closer. They are friends and that's all.

Season 3 ends with Jaskier in love with Geralt and Geralt not in love with Jaskier. But this time, Jaskier seems to have accepted it. He's not trying to win Geralt's affections, he only wants to be with him, to help him however he can.

Their relationship has changed so much and the thing that gets me is that Geralt never seems to acknowledge it. Jaskier does, even Yennefer does, but Geralt doesn't. I'm so curious how they are going to move forward from here in season 4 and if it ever gets properly addressed.

[loki-is-my-kink-awakening]

I wanted to talk about Extraordinary Things and the Geraskier and Radskier elements in the song.

Forgive me if this has been done or is rather obvious. This is just me musing over the lyrics.

Keep your words on ice

Your gaze lights the fire

How many campfires did this happen? Jaskier doing his best to drag even a few words from Geralt while the witcher glares at the fire as if his eyes are stoking the flame.

But eyes of fire really speak of Radovid, too. He may speak more than Geralt did when Jaskier first met him, but there's a lot he doesn't say in words that he says in his eyes.

They say, "Keep on playing nice"

But I have no desire

Jaskier cannot be contained. It's why I love him. He will not be forced into a box. He contains multitudes.

But these lines speak of struggle. Jaskier could be at court if he wanted to, he's a viscount, but he has no desire to be that person. He needs the freedom of the wild.

And the two people that represent this struggle are Radovid (a life at court) and Geralt (freedom/out in the wild). It's kinda obvious who Jaskier is going to choose even without considering what Joey said in interviews (that Jaskier will have a choice, but it isn't a choice for him, he will always choose his found family).

Jaskier has no desire to stay at court, even for love.

Why waste our words

When lips were made for extraordinary things

Jaskier can talk. He can express himself in his songs and with words. But there's some things that can only be truly communicated through a kiss.

And let's face it, Jaskier has waited so long to communicate his feelings for Geralt. He wouldn't waste words any longer, he'd want to show his feelings.

It also links to the later lyrics of unspoken words between them.

With Radovid, there isn't any need to talk because it becomes clear how he feels about Jaskier through singing his song.

But also there is so much they cannot discuss because Jaskier needs to protect his found family.

Kissing Radovid is safer. Jaskier can communicate his feelings that way and can feel Radovid's feelings for him in deeds, not words.

It's not a want, it's a need

It is paying no heed to what others say to sing

Jaskier has never paid any heed to what others said of his songs or singing. But that is also a mask to protect himself.

Geralt told him not to write any songs about him. Jaskier did it anyway.

There's probably others who have told Jaskier not to write songs about them or Geralt that I've forgotten.

But "it's not a want, it's a need" is just so evocative of his heart the love he gives freely, and of him letting his creativity flow through him.

That creativity is something Radovid greatly admires. And I think Radovid also wants to play no heed to what others want him to do; he just isn't as free as Jaskier (the pretty songbird).

Ultimately, what Jaskier really wants is for someone to see him, like he sees others, and for that person to still have a visceral want for him once seeing him.

People have wanted him, his body, his time, his usefulness. Loved ones have finally accepted him as a friend and family member. No one yet has wanted all of him, the magnitudes he contains, the bad parts and the good, the real him. Mainly because he's never had someone pierce his armour.

And if Radovid is using Jaskier I swear to the gods I will rain merry hell on him.

The greatest songs are made up of unspoken words of love

Of them I have had enough

All of Jaskier’s songs contain some element of his love for Geralt. He is his muse, after all.

We all know Her Sweet Kiss and Burn, Butcher, Burn contain it most obviously.

And it's interesting here that we get Jaskier saying he's had enough of writing his love for Geralt. There's only so much you can continue to pour out and not get anything back.

And so, Jaskier has decided that his love for Geralt is platonic as a way to protect himself. If he's not wanting, he can't be hurt.

But we all know when Jaskier said that his love for Geralt is platonic, that it is a lie he is telling himself. Vespula wasn't fooled.

But it's interesting that we clearly see Jaskier longing for the real love he craves in these lyrics. And I don't want to take away the amazing aromatic headcanon for Jaskier or Geraskier having a queen platonic relationship, but there is a longing that is unfulfilled, whatever way you interpret that to be.

That longing can be fulfilled with Radovid.

With you, I have enough

With you, I am enough

I am enough

Again, I see Jaskier saying he is enough with Geralt just to be his friend. After all his years struggling to be his friend and also wanting more, it's interesting to see this friendship now settled as soon as Jaskier stops seeking more.

And a big part of that change between them has to be down to Geralt becoming a father and learning to open his heart to caring about those around him.

But with Radovid, Jaskier gets to be vulnerable, properly vulnerable with his heart. He does feel enough in Radovid's eyes, and that is truly for the first time.

Vespula knows Jaskier, but he doesn't let himself be truly vulnerable with his heart there. He lies about his feelings for Geralt to her (and himself). He gives his body, but does he give his heart? I would say no. They are close in many ways, but not emotionally, not in vulnerability.

Drop the sweet disguise

Your heart's beating too loud

The fairy tales and little lies can't drown out all the sound

We all know about Geralt's disguise: that witchers don't need no one or that they don't have feelings. In S3, we see this façade lift. Geralt shows his true self to Ciri as her father, Jaskier as his friend, and Yennefer as a partner when he forgives her.

Radovid wears a disguise. He's the drunk fool to those who cannot see it. But Jaskier can, because Jaskier also wears a disguise, something Joey commented on in at least one interview.

And I feel like this disguise is definitely shown on screen when Jaskier is with Vespula. He has feelings for her, obviously strong ones, but they aren't the same as his feelings for Geralt or Radovid.

He definitely tells Vespula more than he tells his other lovers. But Vespula isn't looking for Jaskier to be "the only one" for her. She is still pretty switched on about Jaskier’s heart.

So take this heart

And break this heart

For extraordinary things

Geralt has broken Jaskier's heart already. And now Jaskier seems to be settled into the role of friend with his "platonic" love.

And Geralt is an extraordinary thing to Jaskier. Nothing will take that away, not even heartbreak.

But the thing is, Jaskier isn't ready to give his heart truly to Geralt completely. In pieces, yes. The clear barrier of "He's my friend, that's it" has been set (for now).

But with Radovid we see Jaskier let go of his mask, drop down his armour and allow Radovid in. It could very well break his heart, but that won't stop him from loving Radovid.

He has become an extraordinary thing to Jaskier.

For all the years we have watched Jaskier longing, to finally see him with someone is amazing. I don't want his heart broken, but I know we have to accept that it's going to happen.

And here, for the first time since The Mountain, we have Jaskier willing to have it broken again.

Because without taking a chance on being fulfilled and happy, what are we?

Thanks for reading.

[sapphiresdumpsterfire]

meta analysis of Extraordinary Things because I have no life

Keep your words on ice

Your gaze lights the fire.

Pretty straight forward, Geralt’s cold attitude and words combined with his gold, “fiery” eyes.

They say keep on playing nice

But I have no desire

This I feel like is a reference to his bisexuality, being told to conform to the typical standards of relationships, or perhaps to accept his nobility as it reflects on his romantic affairs. Play nice and keep in line. But that’s not who he is as a person and he has no desire to pretend like he’ll ever fit that mold.

Why waste our words

When lips were made

For extraordinary things

Fairly straightforward as well, he’s tired of the fancy wordplay and the double entendres of noble life. He doesn’t want to dance around the way he feels or conceal his emotions. Why waste time with talking around how you feel when you can simply accept it. Which is very fitting as he is very open with his romantic life.

It’s not a want, it’s a need

It is paying no heed

To what others say to sing

Another reference to his orientation, however I also feel like this might be a small reference to the line in Her Sweet Kiss “I’m weak my love, and I am wanting” which could be an indicator of his feelings for Geralt adapting and evolving over time. They’ve deepened into a need to simply be around Geralt, even if his role in Geralt’s life isn’t quite was he desires. Geralt matters just that much to him.

The greatest songs are made up

Of unspoken words of love

Okay this line I feel like is the most damning, but possibly not for the reasons people might think. There’s a lot of focus on the “unspoken words of love” section of this line, but I was more focused onto this reference of his music. He’s saying that of the songs he has written, he has embedded his love for Geralt in every line. In particular, the his romantic ballads. He keeps his love songs inconspicuous, switching around pronouns and never revealing a name. Those are expressions of his “unspoken works of love”.

Of them I’ve had enough

With you I have enough

With you I am enough

I am enough

This is where we get angsty. His tone gets defeated and exhausted singing this line. He’s tired of being so desperately in love with someone who will never be able to share that love in the same capacity. He’s had enough of feeling like he’ll never be enough. Radovid has made him feel like he can be enough for someone, but that’s not quite what he needs either (with unintentional foreshadowing to Radovid’s manipulation). He wants to be enough for himself, in his own right, without relying on other people’s perception of him.

Drop the sweet disguise

Your heart’s beating too loud

The fairytale’s and little lies

Can’t drown out all the sound

So I’ve seen this be translated as foreshadowing for him and Radovid’s relationship, but considering that he would have only known Radovid for a couple of days at best, I feel like this interpretation is a little too loose and abstract. We know he writes his ballads about events he’s experienced in his own life, and he doesn’t tend to write about abstract concepts or future events. I feel it’s more likely that this is a reflection of the fact that Jaskier very much knows that Geralt is aware of his feelings. We know that Geralt can canonly hear heartbeats. Jaskier knows that no matter how many pretty ballads he sings and excuses he gives, he can’t hide his feelings, and Geralt will never address them, whether to protect Jaskier’s emotions or their friendship. It’s a feeling of defeat and almost a bit of self-flagellation. Like he’s shaming himself for daring to have these feelings, using a slightly mocking tone while singing these lines.

So take this heart

And break this heart

For extraordinary things

In this, Jaskier is tossing aside these feelings. He’s willing to let his heart be broken and his hopes be dashed to be by Geralt’s side because he sees that Geralt has a destiny and a purpose. He’s willing to go through the pain of never having Geralt in the way he needs because he knows that Geralt has a greater purpose, and he’s devoting himself to seeing this purpose play out.

It’s not a want, it’s a need

It is paying no heed to what

Others say to sing

The greatest songs are made up

Of unspoken words of love

Of them I’ve had enough

With you I have enough

With you I am enough

I am

I am enough…

In short, I feel like this song is very clearly an expression of Jaskier’s feelings of hopelessness towards his relationship with Geralt. He’s desperately in love with a man who he knows in his heart that he will never be enough for, whether due to orientation or feeling like Geralt has a far greater purpose than Jaskier could ever hope to understand or fulfill. He wants desperately to be enough for someone, and to feel like anybody could be enough to fill the hole that Geralt has left inside him. Enter Radovid, who sees this weakness and immediately exploits it to his advantage. But my rant on the cinematography of the scene indicating Radovid’s calculated manipulation and Jaskier’s emotional vulnerability will come another day.

Thank you Joey Batey for another total masterpiece of a performance and a song that will haunt me till I die. 🥹💕

[alikandhoney]

Men are written better in mainstream media. They actually get their relationships expanded upon so even when there’s no intention behind it, male and male relationships are more compelling because it is more likely that a women is written for the benefit of a man or plot point in the show and not to be developed and explored for her own benefit.

is there like,,,, a psychological reason my favourite ships are men ????

merlin and arthur. nick and charlie. alex and henry. even geralt and jaskier.

like hello ???? i’m a lesbian ????

[kajaono]

How 911 7x04 supports four different readings

A long term, a short term, a canon and a subtextual one and all of them are valid

Just as a short reminder. In 7x03 Buck meets Tommy for the first time and instantly smitten by the cool hot pilot. Turns out the hot pilot and his best friend are best buddies. Buck feels left behind. So 7x04 lets us believe he tries everything to get Eddies attention. Turns out, he actually wanted Tommys attention. So, thats the narrative we are working with

Canon and short term narrative

So on a canon level we have Buck meets a cute pilot, tries everything to get his attention, breaks his best friend foot, gets rewarded with a kiss, a boyfriend and a coming out. A clear BuckTommy narrative.

Long Term narrative

And now it gets compliacted. Is Bucktommy a long term option? Is this a) "we see you read Buck as queer AND you ship Eddie and Buck... but the network says "no" to canon Buddie, but "yes" to bi Buck, so we give you everything we can"? We saw similar things in The Witcher for example, where people read Jaskier as pan and in love with Geralt and season 3 made really clear: "Yes he is pan, but we will never make Geraskier canon. BUt here: Jaskier now has a boyfriend."

Which btw doesn't make the queer coming out arc and the queer relationship less important or valid. I think the storytelling couldn't be more clear how much it cares for BuckTommy.

Or is this b) slow burn? Introducing: Marcus Pike aka Pedro Pascal in season 6 of The Mentalist:

For those of you who have never watched The Mentalist (have you been living under a rock?!) . It is a typical (and extremly good) crime show, 22 episodes each season, and one episode: one case

The main couple, Lisbon x Jane (Jisbon):

These cuties here. Six seasons of slow burn and pining. And the moment they nearly got together this show did what every good show did back then. They introduced a new love interest, and one half of the main couple falls for him:

Even though everyone knew that Jisbon was endgame it added even more tension, made the pining and slow burn even longer.

So what of those two options is Tommy? Someone to make the pining even longer? Or a compromise because canon Buddie is not possible?

Only time will tell and I am super curious for your opinins, Because i Think this is also where the ship war comes from.

Because Tommy could be both and it is aboslutly not clear if Tommy is here to stay or only a plot device

This is also where the subtextual narrative kicks in

If you see it from a long term POV this whole "i try to get your attention" could have second level... which eventually could be about Buddie again. From a long term POV. As in: "I wanted Tommys attention because I really liked him and because he helped me realize my true feelings... and I realized I could never have your attention." something like that.

What I want to say is: 7:04 is written in a way that the canon narrative we have today can be changed easily later without destrorying the legacy it has: canon bi Buck. Or it will be forever a Bucktommy ep... which is also amazing! (I am here for both ships! Multishipping yay!)

It is so so hard to tell and I want all your opinions in my inbox. Is Tommy a plot device that leads to canon Buddie or here to stay? Keep in mind this show could go on for ten more seasons...

And leave me alone with ship wars. If i get too many hate messages I will write a meta why Buck x Eddie x Tommy will be endgame, I swear

[flowercrown-bard]

Why is the Roche/Ciri ship always only crap for you all?

Hey, i once read a draco x apple fanfic. I have no room to judge anyone's ship and I don't think I ever did that (outside of private conversations). What i am judging is someone ruining the fandom experience for other people. If you really are as upset and hurt by people hating on your ship as you say, I'm sure you understand why people don't like you hating on their ship. (btw it's hilarious that you sent me hate for rorveth and cirys. Literally the only character included here that i even know is Ciri. If you sent me geraskier hate there would at least be context since i actually ship it, but i have absolutely no opinion on those ships you mentioned. I don't even know them) You've been told by others why they are annoyed by your asks and obviously it has no effect on you, so i won't bother repeating what they've already said, but i do occasionally love hearing myself talk so i wil still write a far longer response than i should So this isn't a hate response, it's a love letter to fandom. So here's what made being in a fandom so special to me:

The support.

Fandom to me is, at its core, strangers sharing their excitement, inspiring each other and admiring what other people do. When i started writing i was so self conscious, i couldn't sleep after posting a chapter because I was so anxious. And i received so much support even for works that are really not that great. There's something so wonderful about cheering others on and getting cheered on. That sort of open and heartfelt support is not something you experience in real life and it made some hard times much better for me. It's incredible knowing that people across the globe collaborate, send each other prompts or getting really excited about something someone else did.

2. The possibility to just…not engage in conversations i don't want to be in.

It's so freeing to have the option to block people of just not respond. There's always some sort of controversy or just some takes i don't like. How wonderful that i can just not look at those things

3. Getting to be creative and knowing it makes people happier

Your fic or art isn't brilliant? Who cares. It's so freeing to create something out of love, for people who love the same thing. I started writing for the first time since i was a child because of fandom. I dabbled in creating fanart (and realised the medium isn't for me, which is also great to find out), i wrote poetry (which I never wanted to do) and badly recorded songs (which i felt so self conscious about). Was it all good? Ha, absolutely not. But i got zo try it out and i wouldn't have done that without fandom. There is no external pressure to be good (or if there is pressure from other people to create and be good, there are always a ton of others telling you why this pressure is unfair and should be ignored). There are no grades, no deadlines. Just the love and joy of creating and sharing your creation. Or not sharing them, if that's what you want. Both is fine and that's the point

4. Seeing people of all skill levels share their works

And all of their art is beautiful and meaningful, no matter if they qre a master of their craft or someone who pickef up a pen for the first time to try out this medium

5. Seeing different interpretations

I don't like many of them but it's so interesting to see how others are interpreting something. That can be anything from the question of who's a top to some in depth meta analysis. People enjoy different things and it's so cool to see what they focus on

6. The people in general. I pretty much left the witcher fandom months ago (i tried writing for it again but it was so hard that I gave up) but through it, i met incredible people, some of who have become irreplaceable parts of my life and i am so thankful for fandom for bringing us together like this. When i was in the fandom, i got to know people are so talented, unbelievably creative, kind, funny, supportive and so many other wonderful things (even those i never talked to directly. If you left a comment on something i wrote or made my days brighter with your own creations, you are amazing and i appreciate you a lot)

Basically, fandom for me was an experience that brought me joy and a sense of community. It's on you to seek out the fandom experience you want to have. If you want that experience to be one of bitterness and hate, I'm really sorry for you. But more than anything I'm sorry for the people who you drag into this by harrassing them even after they blocked you. If you want to stew in bitterness over shipping a rarepair, that's your decision. But if other people want to enjoy the fandom in a more joyful way, then that should be their decision too and you don't get to take it away from them and ruin their love. Because ultimately that's what fandom is to me and i treasure the memory of that love more than I value the opinion of someone who apparently takes joy in trying (and hopefully failing) to take that love away

[corrodedbisexual]

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[youaremysunshine-court]

OMG WITCHER THOUGHTS

Putting all this under the cut bc its incomprehensible at eh best of times

Yenn writing Geralt letters!!! kdfjdsjfhjdghs i love them so much i love that sh eknows shes done wrong and is trying her best to right it

Jaqskier’s forst scene being him getting thrown out for sleeping aorund. she broke his lute :((((( also wtf is he bi he got sweet talked by a pansy prince...

Geralt being. good. dad. amazing showstopping i love him i want to bite his biceps

yenn-geralt-jask all travelling together and teasing jask my poor little fandom heart! this is the plot of so many fics i have bookmarked lmao

Ciri wanting to do good for the woirld shes such a little muffin i need to protect her

- inserting quick rant here because this thought srtuck me during the split up scene - Geralt isn’t going to be the White Wolf who unites teh nations, as so many fics have suggested. Ciri is (and fair warning all book canon I know is from fics and fandom meta, so i have no idea what the plot actually does, but I have a Feeling about this.) obvy ger’s gonna be there for her and do a lot of the heavy lifitng but shes going to be the reason peace comes to [continent name]

WARRIOR PRINCESS CIRI OMG MY! HEART!

dara... dara! omg its dara what is he doing

Watching Ciri fight and immediately after seeing Geralt decimate them really puts into perspective what a witcher can do, like yes shes strong shes skilled but geralt is just engineered to fight hes on a whole other level when it comes to fighting (also HE USED HIS SIGNS LETS GO))

Geraskier geraskier geraskier send help im melting (Joey batey plays a bi man so well btw, he does the same flick-my-eyes-away-becuase-youre-being-too-sincere-and-im-in-love-with-you thing that I do, also GEralt thanking him made me scream out loud)

PLEASE SAY JASK GOES WITH GERALT TO FIND RIENCE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

During the fight scene, I was like oh this seasons soundtrack is going to Fuck and it IS

Geralt being a good dad is really something everyone needs tbh

The interpersonal relationships this season are so so so good, I feel bad for bashing on the last season’s ending, but I’m still withholding judgement until I’ve finished this season, but still yenn-geralt, yenn-ciri, geralt-ciri, geralt-jask, yenn-jask all seem more real this season and more like conversations people would have rather than plot-furthering conversations, I feel like they’ve actually put effort into this season’s emotional value, rather than just plot value yk

it’s fuckign heartbreaking how hes still carrying his broken lute around, idk if its meant to be a metaphor for his emotional wellbeing but im getting that sense from him

Also what the fuck jaskier why would you make decisions for ciri without consulting her or her dad/ You are sending her there to be married off to some fuckface isnt thaty what you ran away from in the first place what the fuck jask,

Wait so are Geralt and Jaskir not travelling together? He said Jaskier was waiting for him in [unspellable city name] but then it looks like he’s saddling up roach alone?

1) is that Cintra? 2) who is that? 3) Doesn’t he know it’s rude to burn someone else’s baby pictures? 4) if they bring in a brother fighting ciri for hte throne plotline I will NOT be happy

[fangirleaconmigo]

I hope it’s not presumptuous to link my whole meta series masterpost on Geralt and Dandelion in the books in case you want to delve in.

I've recently delved into the Witcher book series for the first time, and while I absolutely adore Jaskier and Geralt in the television adaptation, I must admit that their friendship reaches unparalleled heights in the books.

It's as if they both have this endearing perspective of each other, constantly thinking, "Behold this feral gremlin man I stumbled upon in the dumpster; I love him."

The genuine adoration between Dandelion and Geralt is an absolute delight to experience while reading. Their dynamic is filled with infectious joy and camaraderie, making it an incredibly enjoyable aspect of the story.

[crownofstardustandbone]

Sometimes I get caught up I thinking about how Jaskier is the first person Geralt has really spent a lot of time with since Renfri and how he’s probably terrified deep down that something bad will happen to Jaskier because of him (worse, that he’ll be the one to hurt him) and so he keeps pushing Jaskier away but Jaskier keeps coming back—sort of like a stubborn dandelion that no matter how many times you rip it out, it grows back and I—

[jaskierskisses]

I Know Each Corner From You (Part 1)

Geraskier Bath Scene Meta

Geraskier Meta. 1x04 meta. The Witcher (Netflix)

Hello my friends! I'm here again with another meta from this series of analysis about the show.

This time we are going to talk about episode 1x04 in two pieces, because is a large one...

Jaskier Knows Geralt Very Well

At the beginning of the episode 1x04, we have Jaskier asking a man about Geralt's last work. And is very interesting how he explains his excitement to the poor guy that's talking about his horrible experience...

Gif credit @vsnom

This is actually talking us about how much Jaskier knows Geralt. He already had written a lot of songs about his adventures, women knows about Geralt's scars thanks to Jaskier's songs. The Witcher is very popular thanks to him. He also knows even with the fateful end of the story, his friend is just fine.

Jaskier pays a lot of attention to each word coming from Geralt

Let's jump to the bath scene, I'm aware I came late into this fandom and there's a lot of bath scene good meta, I will just point some details I found in this delightful and very well maintained scene.

First of all, we have Jaskier throwing water over Geralt's head. Is like a kind of baptism or purification, if we think Geralt's lack of self love, or self image of a monster, as I said in my first meta. And Jaskier making this kind of .. purification, and immediately after that calling himself as the best friend the white will could have, is an attempt to reach Geralt's soul, and clean it: 'You deserve to be loved, you deserve to have friends, to have me.'

But Geralt reject that terminology, mostly he is rejecting to have friend, to have Jaskier as a friend, why? For the same reason he can't allow himself this kind of weakness. So Jaskier is not his friend.

But the bard knows him well, he knows why he is saying these things, playing the rock role.

And he dissemble his speech.

Gif credit @beautiful-paradise

So Jaskier strikes here, snapping at him the intimacy that requires such action. He is showing Geralt they're in that level of intimacy, friends or maybe more than that, Geralt's face is priceless, the gay panic.

Another intimate gesture that, coming from anyone else would ended with a punch in the face, maybe, is Jaskier taking off the beer from Geralt's hands... And not just that, but the pat in the shoulder, Geralt hora rigid and bows his head, clenching his fist, holding back his uncomfortable feelings. He is not use to this kind of approaches with such fresh and nonchalantly air. But Jaskier has that effect on him. Jaskier is showing him, again, the level of intimacy they share. Even is Geralt denies it. Is there. All over the bath scene.

Let the bard heal you Geralt!

After this, Geralt shows his discomfort, by rejecting Jaskier free way to love people, he mentions Jaskier's sausage, as a disrespectful way to show him he repels that kind of life... And Jaskier reaction is this...

Gif credit @amethysthollis

Jaskier is like... "Mmmh... Interesting... Is he jealous?"

Because why to mention something like that? Is not Geralt's problem is Jaskier runs into every person he finds attractive and falls in love easily. In fact... Is just Jaskier's problem...

And this reminds me that book scene in the Sword of Destiny in which they share a bed and Jaskier asks Geralt Why he was mad at him about courting ladies, then he let a "At last...?"

Like a suggestive and unanswered question... At last... You are jealous...

Is because Jaskier has another intentions with Geralt, not just being his friend, but maybe something else, that he is so attentive to each word coming out from the Witcher. Trying to read the hidden intentions. So... Every little hint of possible feeling towards him, the bard will evaluate carefully.

Because Geralt is so stingy with the details... (The words) Jaskier needs to read the subtext of the few he says.

From now on, Jaskier seducing attitude goes more blatant. His movements and dialogues will try to decipher if Geralt has maybe some jealousy, or of there's something more than friendship there.

He will say something that demonstrates he knows Geralt very well...

"You never get involve, except that you do that all the time..."

When Jaskier throws this, Geralt swings his head to see him, surprised by the accurate diagnosis. And that observation would explain why the white wolf doesn't want to call Jaskier his friend.

Then... And again trying to get some hint of jealousy... He starts talking about the persons he had courted and why he got in trouble because of that...

The whole scene Jaskier moves around like a graceful gazelle. At some point when he mentions why he needs Geralt's help, the bard is hanging clothes by the bathtub side, and he turns his body and head to watch the Witcher in such a suggestive and seductively way, showing us his seductive intentions, and paying attention to Geralt reaction to that, because the first time he was giving him the back, but now he can see the white wolf face, and check if he gets jealous or not. And what he sees, is absolutely priceless. Geralt is mad at him.

"Oh yes! That face!" The bard shouts kind of amused, playing around... That's the face he was expecting. Maybe he concluded that his seduction adventures with other people... Gets Geralt really mad... And that's a very delicious discover for the bard.

And yet, here we are

The climax of the intimate scene is reached when Jaskier, after testing waters with Geralt, tries to decipher what he really desire, what pleases the Witcher. So he starts with a empathic dialogue, talking about Geralt's different condition as a Witcher. His almost eternal existence and old age. He knows each man desires something in his heart. The white wolf isn't different. And Jaskier is curious because maybe, he could offer that to him.

The sincerity of his intentions maybe could be pass as unnoticed, but to Geralt, Is purely try to answer to one question he had never made to himself. What do you want for yourself?

Gifset credit @randomlyrj

Jaskier will always be the light at the end of the dark tunnel , he represents the hopes, so he is aiming maybe for Geralt's retirement, and maybe, he could join him? We know his intentions were honest, because in episode 1x06 he will propose the Witcher to ran away with him to the coast.

Even if Geralt never had to answer that, he closes again, he shows that wall he put surrounding him. The tough witcher wants nothing. Is a lie he keeps saying to himself, for the same reason he feels.inside a monster, he thinks he doesn't deserve a good ending.

Jaskier crushes against that wall, he really wanted another different answer from Geralt. Disappointment, watching at his nails... (Okay please @mrsaquaman187 you have to help here too with the body language of this scene, please) but I see disappointment at first, and then, "Oh hell, I will go to the point anyway!" Face... And he shoots this now classic quote...

Look how he walks forward, pouting, seductively again, laying down, his eyes fixed on Geralt. Focused on him. Because this scene was all about Geralt's words, and Geralt's reactions, and Geralt needs, and Geralt's desires.

This makes those words flirty, Jaskier is flirting with Geralt here, because his whole body is focused with seduction on Geralt. Because the bard wants to be clear here. He wants Geralt.

Even if Geralt doesn't want himself, he wants him.

Geralt avoids Jaskier gaze when he says I NEED NO ONE. Because that's something sad... But then he locks his eyes with the bard's, to make it clear that THE LAST THING HE WANTS

IS SOMEONE NEEDING HIM. Like... Breaking every little hopes in Jaskier. Saying to him, don't get close to me. Don't need me. I don't want to need you. Back off Bard! (As he yelled at him at the beginning of the episode).

But Jaskier insist... And goes wild...

This quote is an asseveration to the observation Jaskier made before... You don't get involve except you do it all the time.

And yet... Here we are.

Geralt says things that he doesn't really feel. Is the opposite.

And Geralt gets uncomfortable again, he detects Jaskier intentions, he feels awkward, and he wants to ran away from there. Some gay panic, trying to change subject asking for his clothes.

To Conclude

The bath scene was full of intimacy. Focused entirely in Geralt, Jaskier tried to get inside the Witcher's head and true desires.

Jaskier is very insightful, so he knows Geralt, Each corner of him, and he investigate with clinical eye each word the white wolf says.

Showing a couple of foreshadows, will open the door to Ciri and Yennefer, two characters that will be part of Geralt's intimate circle.

Hope you like this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @agusvedder @mrsaquaman187 @mylastwish @spnsmile @jawnlockwinchester

If you want to be added to this list, just let me know.

If you want to read my previous metas From the Witcher, here you have the links:

1x01

1x02 (1)

1x02 (2)

1x03

Buenos Aires, April 15th 2020 9:15 PM

[amphorographia]

Don't get me wrong, I love all the 'immortal Jaskier' theories but honestly credit to Joey Batey because even thought Jaskier doesn't appear to physically age, there's so much about his behaviour in every scene that makes me feel how old he's meant to be.

He's energetic and naive and cocky when he first meets Geralt. All of that energy and curiosity is still with him at the betrothal feast but it's more controlled, deliberate and self-aware in a way he wasn't before. Then, when we see him just before Geralt finds the djinn, he's not only more reserved (which, sure, he's had his heart broken so that makes sense) but he's also more mature in how he interacts with Geralt. His "talk to me" shows genuine concern and there's nothing teasing about it. It's only afterwards, once he knows what Geralt is doing and realises/decides the witcher is being ridiculous, that he returns to that sort of behaviour. And even after he's been cursed and cured, his interactions with Yennefer and Geralt are still tempered by that maturity.

And then the dragon quest.

Yennefer's comment about Jaskier's "crow's feet" might a be intended to convey his aging but the way Joey plays his reaction to the comment is far more effective. Think of the difference between "Yeah, well, you're jokes are...old" and "You don't want to keep a man with...bread in his pants waiting". In both cases he’s trying to be witty in an attempt to break the tension. And while in the first instance Geralt hadn’t insulted him, the sense of discomfort is comparable. In response to Yennefer’s comment, a younger Jaskier would have been annoyed by his own inability to come up with a witty reply. But that’s not how it plays out. Instead his tone is sad, deflated. His joke doesn’t land but he doesn’t care. That’s not what it’s about.

Then, there’s his asking Geralt to go to the coast. When they first met, Jaskier was drawn to Geralt by his desire for adventure. That man wouldn’t have tried to convince the witcher to “get away for a while,” he would said something about how there are other monsters to slay, more people to help, other adventures to be had. And, true, this also speaks to how their relationship has changed and Jaskier has come to see Geralt as more than just his abilities.  But it also speaks of growth - the kind that only comes with experience. The desire for peace and the understanding that life can’t always be danger and adventure and excitement.

And then, when Geralt turns on him, blames him for everything and tell him he wants him gone, Jaskier doesn’t engage. He says “that’s not fair” (soft and heartbroken) but that’s it. There’s no fighting, no yelling, no accusations or corrections. He takes it and he walks away. That energy, the one that used to bleed into every word and movement, the one he learned to control and channel where he wanted it, disappears. When he says his goodbye and leaves he’s deflated and heartbroken but, notably, not exhausted. He’s learned when there’s nothing words can do, when something isn’t worth the effort, and (most importantly) when he deserves more than what he’s given.  And walking away hurts like hell, we see that so clearly in Joey’s performance (here and in season 2), but it’s also such an important show of his strength and maturity. No argument, no begging to be taken along, no jokes or snark, just acknowledgement and retreat. 

This got longer than I expected and there’s still so many other things I could point out but you get the idea. Despite his lack of ‘aging,’ it’s so clear that we really are seeing Jaskier over years, decades even, of his life and that’s not an easy thing to show. So shout out to Joey Batey and his excellent performance.

[asweetprologue]

from what i’ve tasted of desire

first post season 2 fic! of course I immediately wrote a fix-it, because these boys still haven’t talked about their feelings. needless to say, this contains spoilers for season 2 and the season 2 finale in particular. 

read on ao3

~

Jaskier’s coat has a hole in it.

After everything, it should be trivial. The bodies of half the remaining witchers—Geralt’s brothers, his family—are laid across the tables in the main hall. The grey stone is stained with black streaks where they fell, like the veined marble of a mausoleum floor. Beyond the doors, he can see Ciri sitting on the broken rampart, Yennefer leaning close, their heads bent together. Exhaustion and grief press close and heavy around them all.

It shouldn’t matter that his jacket has a hole in it. He’s not hurt. He’s alive, and so is Yen, and Ciri, and—and he’s fine. Compared to what everyone else has been through, no hurts or discomforts of his should even register.

But. This is his only coat. The only thing he owns, really. Geralt plucked him out of that cell and he’s only got what’s on his back: one pair of trousers, a couple of shit boots not meant for the road, one shirt with a badly patched ax hole in it, a tattered vest, and one coat with a massive tear running from the small of his back and halfway up to his right armpit, bursting the seam. He’s lucky that whatever tore the heavy leather open didn’t tear him open with it.

He makes his way back to his room that evening with heavy feet. He knows he should have stayed, probably, to help everyone clean up longer and maybe sing to lift their spirits. But he doesn’t have a lute anymore, and he’s so tired.

The room he found for himself is small, and on the outside wall of the keep. There’s a crack in the ceiling to the right of the bed, and when he looks directly up he can see three pinpricks of light against the blackness of the northern sky. The mountain chill seeps into the room insidiously; he’s only glad it isn’t snowing. Still, the moth eaten blanket he’d rustled up does little against the cold, and his thrice damned fucking coat has a fucking hole in it. He can feel the chill against his back when he curls his feet up under the blanket. He doesn’t have any socks. They’d worn out on the way to Kaer Morhen and he’d finally had to throw them out.

Gods above, it’s fucking cold.

After tossing and shivering for an hour, Jaskier finally pulls himself out of the bed with a groan, dragging the blanket with him. Maybe if he can find a lit hearth somewhere he can get warm enough to pass out. After a moment of hesitation he grabs the bottle on the nightstand. There isn’t enough left in it to knock him out—thanks for nothing, Jaskier of yesterday—but maybe it will at least warm him up. His bones ache with the cold, and his bare feet burn where they touch the icy stone.

There’s still a fire burning in the main hall, but that’s not happening. People might still be there, and the room smells like iron and ozone. He stands in the hallway for a moment, chewing his lip in thought. Maybe the lab, though he isn’t sure it would be that much warmer. Maybe he could just find another room? He wishes, for a fervent moment, that he could just go find Geralt. His fingers are stiff where they hold the thin blanket around his shoulders, and the barely healed burns along his index and middle finger ache along his joints. If he could just find Geralt and curl up next to him with the excuse of warmth, maybe this would all be alright. He knows he shouldn’t want that anymore, because Geralt left him and he’s barely apologized and Yen is back and he told himself he wouldn’t do this anymore, but—

He’s so cold.

The kitchens. There’s an idea.

He makes his way quietly through the halls, though he has no doubt that if any witchers are awake they’ll hear him moving about. The kitchens are tucked off of the main hall, far enough away that he can’t hear whether people are still moving about in there. He doesn’t want to know, entering through the old servants’ entrance in the hall instead. The kitchens of Kaer Morhen are large, as they would be in any keep, but clearly under-utilised. Several work tables line the long room, but only the one at the far end has cooking utensils left on it. Various herbs and spices hang from the ceiling, alongside dark pots and pans worn lopsided with age. On the far end of the room, the hearth emits a gentle glow that has Jaskier sighing in relief.

The fire is banked; only glowing embers remain. A small pile of wood sits next to the fireplace, and Jaskier eyes them warily. He should add a few to the embers, get a real fire going to warm himself up. But his fingers burn, and the memory of a flame licking up the side of his palm and the thick smell of his skin bubbling makes him hesitate. It’s warmer here already. Instead, he sits against the warm stone of the hearth and digs his teeth into the cork of his bottle.

The wine goes too quickly, but it does leave him feeling slightly warmer, fuzzy around the edges. The stone against his back isn’t too cold, but the floor is freezing. He tries to arrange his worthless coat underneath himself, wishing he still had his traveling gear. A bedroll would do him wonders right now. He’s still shivering a bit, and he can’t feel his toes. He should add another log to the fire, but he’s just… tired. He wants to sleep, and forget how heavy and empty he feels for a moment.

He dozes fitfully, for a time. He can’t say why he wakes, but when he does it’s with a racing pulse. For a moment he doesn’t know where he is or what woke him—a flame dancing on the tip of a finger fills his mind—and he flails. A hand catches around his wrist, and it’s so warm he shudders almost violently. “Jaskier,” Geralt says, and Jaskier stills.

He blinks a few times to orient himself, and finds Geralt crouched on the floor in front of him. “Geralt,” he says, adrenalin flashing through his veins and chasing away some of his exhaustion. “What’s wrong?”

“Why are you in here?” Geralt asks, eyebrows pulled low over his unsettling eyes. Jaskier’s stomach turns over nervously.

“Sorry,” he says, swallowing. “I—If you need me to leave—”

Geralt is still holding his wrist. It’s unbearably distracting, burning against his cold skin. Geralt shakes his head. “It’s fine, Jaskier. I just wanted to make sure you’re alright. I was in the hall, I heard someone come in here. Thought it might be Ciri.”

Of course he didn’t come just to check on Jaskier. He forces down his disappointment with age old practice. “Of course,” he says, finally pulling his wrist from Geralt’s grasp. Geralt lets him go easily, and it hurts as much as it ever did. “Well, I’m fine, thank you.”

“Why are you in the kitchens?” Geralt asks, and eyes the empty bottle to Jaskier’s side. “Raiding the wine stores?”

“I did that yesterday. Most of it’s poison,” he grumbles. “I was cold. If you must know.” He wants to snap it, feels irritated enough, but instead it just comes out hoarse and tired. He leans his head back against the wall behind him and wishes the fire was warmer. “My room has a hole in the ceiling.”

“Most of them do,” Geralt points out. “You should wear something warmer to bed.”

Jaskier raises a hand to press his palm to the center of his forehead. “I’ll keep that in mind next time,” he says dryly. “Point me in the direction of the nearest seamstress and I’ll be sure to ask for a pair of her thickest woollen socks. In the meantime, I’m afraid I’m making do with what I’ve got.”

Geralt is quiet for a moment. Jaskier has his eyes closed, but he can feel the witcher’s heavy gaze on him. He refuses to meet it. “You should have said something.”

Now Jaskier does open his eyes, if only to glare. Geralt is soft in the low light of the flickering embers, his eyes dark honey. A cloying feeling rises in Jaskier’s chest, and he wants it to be hate but he fears it’s something else entirely. “And when was I supposed to do that?” he asks sharply. “Before or after your Child Surprise got possessed and murdered half the people who live here? Somewhere on the road between Cintra and Kaedwin? Should I have asked my jailer before we left Oxenfurt? Or maybe I should have thought to pack a bag before I was—” He stops, biting his tongue.

Geralt’s mouth twists. So beautiful, Jaskier thinks with despair, and he hates himself. He hates all of this. He hates that he’s in this stupid drafty dead keep in a coat that has a hole in it. He hates that Ciri hasn’t said more than two words to him since they met. He hates that his lute is gone, even though he couldn’t play it anyways right now with his hands as they are. He hates that Yennefer is easy to get along with, that her hands fit so nicely in his, that he can’t dislike her easily anymore. He hates that Geralt speaks in kind, soft words to Ciri and speaks so plainly to Yen, because why, why couldn’t he ever do that with Jaskier? And he hates that he’s so weak, that he’s here again after he told himself he’d never fall back into all this bullshit, because Geralt said I need your help and Jaskier is weak and wanting. He always has been.

For a moment Geralt looks like he’s going to say something, and then he stands. Jaskier feels something like relief, and also much like grief, leaving him cold and exhausted. But then a hand is thrust down into his face. Jaskier blinks at it and then looks up at Geralt. He wonders if the wine was stronger than he thought, because Geralt is looking at him expectantly and Jaskier can’t for the life of him imagine what he wants from him. He never could figure out what Geralt fucking wants. “Come on,” Geralt says, wiggling his fingers. Jaskier reaches up and takes them on automatic, his head buzzing with empty static.

Geralt’s hand is so warm, almost painfully so, and as he pulls Jaskier to his feet the burns on his fingers drag against old callouses. He hisses, and Geralt reaches for his elbow as Jaskier pulls his hand away to shake it out. “You’re hurt,” Geralt says, all soft eyes and concern. Jaskier wants to scream.

“It’s nothing,” he says, unable to stop himself from holding his injured hand to his chest. It’s not serious. It’s been weeks since the mage, even though at times Jaskier still feels like he’s back in that room, pinned down like an ant under a magnifying glass. His fingers have mostly healed. The blisters broke and scabbed over while he was in the little cell in Oxenfurt, and he was lucky they didn’t get infected. His pointer finger especially is still red and raw around the tip, the underside right where he would pluck the strings of his lute, if he had one. Yennefer has her magic back, so he might even be able to ask her to remove the tender, shiny skin so he can play easily again. He just… hasn’t had a chance to ask.

Geralt pulls his hand towards him, and Jaskier is powerless to resist him. His palm falls open, bare for Geralt’s inspection. “These are old,” Geralt says, surprised. He runs a finger across the burns, gentle. Jaskier resists a shiver.

“Two weeks,” Jaskier admits, not pulling his hand back. There’s no point. “I thought Yennefer told you.”

Geralt’s face is blank for a moment, and then shifts subtly—just a tension in his jaw, around his eyes. Jaskier doesn’t think anyone else would recognize it. Or maybe that’s not true, and he only wishes it were. “She told me you ran into trouble in Oxenfurt. With the firefucker. Damn it Jaskier.”

“I didn’t tell him anything,” Jaskier says, peevishly. “Not that I had much to tell.”

“That’s not what I—” Geralt shakes his head. His shoulders are squared off as if for a fight, but he’s careful as he cradles Jaskier’s fragile fingers. “Come on,” he says again, his other hand pulling to guide Jaskier along by his elbow.

He doesn’t know where they’re going. Geralt leads him from the kitchen and down several halls, up a flight of stairs, beyond the little niche where Jaskier’s derelict room is located. He’s only been in the keep for less than seventy two hours, and it truly is a maze. The wine probably doesn’t help. By the time Geralt has led them down the third hall, Jaskier is well and truly lost.

They finally stop in front of a heavy door, which Geralt promptly pushes open. This part of the keep is in better repair; most of the sconces are lit, and a few dusty tapestries cover the stone walls to keep out the cold that seeps relentlessly from them. The room that Geralt drags him into is dark, but a moment later it springs into shape around them as Geralt twists his fingers into a quick igni. Jaskier does his best not to flinch.

The room is only barely bigger than the one Jaskier left, but it’s better outfitted. A soft fur rug covers the floor, another spread out on the four poster bed. A high wooden table sits against the back wall, the pool of melted wax around its unlit candle threatening its other occupants—loose papers, several quills, an old tome, some empty bottles. Geralt’s armor rests on a stand in the corner, his swords resting in their scabbards against the wall nearby. A tall armoire sits against the closest wall, but Jaskier can see several articles of clothing strewn carelessly about the room—a shirt on the back of the desk chair, a pair of boots next to the foot of the bed, one knocked on its side. This, Jaskier realizes suddenly, is Geralt’s room. The realization wakes him up more than anything else that has thus far transpired, chasing the last of the wine from his blood.

“What—” he starts, not even sure what he’s about to ask. Geralt doesn’t wait, pushing him to sit on the bed while he goes over to the armoire. “Geralt,” Jaskier says, almost distracted by the relief of the warm rug under his freezing toes. “What are you doing?”

Geralt doesn’t respond, only humming softly as he digs through the wardrobe. Jaskier huffs, pulling his knees up to his chest so he can dig his numb toes into the warm furs covering the bed. The room is already warming up with the fire going, and despite his curiosity he can feel himself growing drowsy. His eyes flutter shut of their own accord, only to snap open when something hits him full in the face. He splutters as it drops into his hands, and Geralt’s warm, grovely laugh fills the small space.

“What’s this?” Jaskier asks, spreading the fabric.

Geralt is already turning back to the wardrobe, pulling out a few more items. “It’s a shirt,” he says, voice still loose with amusement. “One that hasn’t been used for target practice.”

“Hilarious,” Jaskier deadpans as Geralt dumps another bundle of cloth into his lap. He tosses the pants aside in favor of the shirt, laying it out so he can start shucking his coat and vest. As he does so, he glances over the proffered loans, expecting to see worn out shirts patched from old fights. Instead he sees a neat cotton undershirt with a high collar and embroidery across the shoulders. The pattern is familiar, a floral motif—

Jaskier stops halfway out of his vest. “Hold on. Is this… mine?”

Geralt also freezes where he’s still digging through the wardrobe, holding one sock in hand like he’s been caught stealing it. He winces. “Erm. Got left behind in my things a while ago.”

“Several years ago,” Jaskier corrects. “These trousers are mine too! Why do you have these? Have you been stealing my good clothes all these years?”

Geralt turns away, head ducked low as he apparently becomes invested in his search for the other sock. “Not my fault you left them in my bags,” he mutters.

“Why do you still have them?” Jaskier wonders aloud. They would never fit Geralt, not with his broad shoulders. He strips his own shirt off, and immediately grimaces. He’d love to burn it, but he can’t afford to, unless Geralt is hiding a few more of his lost wardrobe pieces in there. He quickly changes into the new shirt, sighing in relief at the feel of clean, warm cotton against his skin. He stands to quickly change into the pants, which are worn soft with age. He remembers using them to sleep on the Path, what feels like a lifetime ago.

Geralt finally steps back to the bed as Jaskier sits down again. The fire has warmed the air of the room significantly, but without his coat, patchy though it may be, Jaskier finds himself suppressing shivers again. “It didn’t feel right to get rid of them,” Geralt says, shifting slightly from foot to foot. “I liked…”

“Liked what?” Jaskier asks. Geralt huffs, as if frustrated, and drops to his knees before the bed. Jaskier has a truly terrible moment where he nearly spreads his thighs open on instinct, a frankly implausible wave of arousal rising in him. He presses his knees together tightly, but Geralt isn’t even looking. He’s reaching down to cup Jaskier’s ankle in one hand, pulling his foot forward. Jaskier watches, aghast, as Geralt gently slides first one, and then the other sock onto his feet. They’re warm, and surprisingly soft. Once he’s done, Geralt smooths his hands up behind Jaskier’s calves. He leans his forehead against Jaskier’s knees, like a worshiper coming to prayer. Jaskier doesn’t know what to do; he feels as frozen and immovable as a statue in a temple.

“I’m sorry,” Geralt says, hushed. Jaskier swallows, and the sound is embarrassingly loud in the quiet room. “I know I said it before, but… I’m sorry, Jask. Not just for the mountain. For everything.” He lifts his head, looking up to meet Jaskier’s stunned gaze. “I’m sorry I didn’t see you. I’m sorry I’m still not.” One of his hands pulled away from Jaskier’s calf to hover over his burnt fingers where they’re clenched tightly in the bedsheets. “I missed you.”

Mortifyingly, Jaskier feels his eyes burning. His vision blurs, obscuring the image of Geralt’s open, pleading face. He turns his face up towards the ceiling, trying to keep any tears from falling. “You know,” he says thickly, “when that fire fucker had me tied up to a chair, he kept asking me where you were. And I was relieved, because you never cared enough to show me your home. I wanted you to ask me to come here with you, for years. But you never did, and I was glad because if you had I would have known where you were, where Ciri was. And I thought, isn’t that pathetic, that I’m so happy you cared about me so little, because I still didn’t want to be the reason you got hurt.”

“Jaskier,” Geralt says, hoarse, but now that he’s speaking Jaskier can’t stop. It’s like it’s cracked him open, and his mouth is moving so quickly he barely knows what he’s saying.

“You left me on a mountaintop. You told me you never wanted to see me again. And you were always—You were always so closed off, and I thought, that’s just how Geralt is, he’s reserved, that’s fine, but it’s not even like that. You talk to Yen, I’ve seen you with Ciri and Vesemir. You just didn’t like talking to me, is that it? We’ve known each other for twenty years. I spent half my life following you around, and you never even told me that you thought I was your friend. I’m sorry I’m always the one getting you into shit situations, I’m sorry I asked you to come with me to the ball and I’m sorry I fucked up with the djinn and I’m sorry I elbowed my way into your life and didn’t leave you alone and that you hated me there so much. But you’re the one who came to find me, alright, so don’t go blaming it on me this time. I don’t even want to be here. I don’t.” He pants, chest heaving. He looks down at Geralt, whose face is carefully blank aside from the slight wrinkle between his eyes. He looks gutted.

“Then why did you come?” Geralt asks, soft. He’s still kneeling before Jaskier, hands on either side of Jaskier’s thighs. The contact is warm through his new pants—his old pants, which Geralt kept.

Jaskier’s throat constricts, and against his will a tear slips free. He can feel the hot trail of it down his cheek. “You fucking know why.”

“You haven’t forgiven me,” Geralt counters, and it doesn’t sound accusing, it’s just a fact. And he’s right. Jaskier feels like an open wound of anger and hurt, and he can’t imagine allowing Geralt close enough to try to apply a salve yet.

“No,” he agrees, mouth twisting. “I can’t. Not yet. But I still—” He sucks in a breath. “I want to help.”

“I don't want to keep you here if it’s not where you want to be,” Geralt says. He’s looking at Jaskier with a deeply familiar expression. Guilt. Always guilt.

“It is,” Jaskier says, even though he knows he said the opposite not half a minute ago. “I don’t want to leave. I just. I want… I don’t want to feel like you think I’m a nuisance to have around. I don’t even know why you want me here anyways. I’m not a fighter, Geralt. I can’t do magic. I don’t even have a damn lute anymore, and my hands—” He has to stop, the tears cutting him off. He feels more slide down his cheeks, but he refuses to let the sob caught in his chest escape.

Geralt lifts his hands, his palms coming up on either side of Jaskier’s face. His thumbs skim over the skin beneath Jaskier’s eyes, collecting the dampness there. His expression is unreadable and enormous. Jaskier takes two shuddering breaths, the force of them racking his frame. “Jaskier,” Geralt says, quiet and demanding and earnest. “I didn’t come find you because I needed someone to fight for me. I needed someone I could trust.” He pauses, staring into Jaskier’s face. It’s probably a mess, splotchy and red from anger and tears. Geralt doesn’t seem to notice. “I missed you,” he says again, not a trace of embarrassment in his face or tone. “I just wanted you with me. If you don’t want to be here, if you can’t forgive me, I understand. But I want you here. I do.”

Jaskier crumples. There’s nowhere to go but further into Geralt—as always, as always—so he ends up falling forward until his face is pressed into Geralt’s neck. Heavy arms come up around him, two huge palms sliding along his back. The tears come in earnest, and the sob he was keeping trapped in his rib cage falls from his mouth in heaving gasps. He’s been cold for so long, and Geralt is so warm, holding him close. He makes soothing sounds into Jaskier’s hair, mouth pressing softly just behind his ear, and if anything that just makes Jaskier cry harder. He can’t remember the last time he felt cared for, wanted.

Geralt holds him until the sobs wind down, until Jaskier is slumped bonelessly against him, exhausted. He’s never felt so tired in his life, he thinks. Not even after walking all the way down that damn mountain. Geralt doesn’t pull away. He just shifts his arms down until they’re under Jaskier’s thighs and lifts. Jaskier clings to Geralt, his fingers clutching at his back, though he doesn’t remember putting them there. The world tilts, and a moment later Geralt is drawing the furs up around them, still holding Jaskier close.

It’s dreamlike. Jaskier feels empty and clean in the wake of his outburst, and the warmth of the furs and Geralt’s body are bliss. He thinks he’s been cold since he turned away from Geralt on that mountain. Sinking into the warmth, he presses a muddled apology into Geralt’s shirt.

“Don't,” Geralt admonishes, and Jaskier can feel the rumble of his voice where they’re pressed together. “I hurt you. You deserve to be upset about it.”

“You didn’t mean to,” Jaskier says, because he knows this. Geralt may be an idiot and he may let his emotions get the best of him, but he didn’t want to hurt Jaskier, not like this. He knows that. It should matter, that Geralt didn’t mean to, didn’t know that he had that kind of power over Jaskier’s heart.

“It doesn't matter,” Geralt says, and that’s true too. “I did it anyways. And I’m sorry. But I’m not going anywhere. Not without you, if you still want to join me.”

Jaskier pushes his face further into Geralt’s chest, breathing him in. He still smells the same. Like horse and iron, campfire, a hint of lilac. Heroics and heartbreak. Just a bit of onion. “I always want to be with you,” Jaskier admits, a bit hopelessly. “I can’t seem to stop.”

“Can’t say I mind,” Geralt says, and he sounds like he’s smiling. “I’ll try not to make it such a chore from now on.”

Jaskier huffs a laugh. “Fat chance,” he says, muffled by Geralt’s shirt. He’s so warm, drowsy and content. It shouldn’t be this easy, but here he is. He’s always been weak when it comes to Geralt. “You’re always going to be a pain,” he slurs.

“Takes one,” Geralt retorts, and his hands come up and smooth over Jaskier’s shoulder blades. One lifts to card through Jaskier’s hair. “Go to sleep, Jaskier. I’ll apologize again in the morning, and you can see if you forgive me then.”

Jaskier shivers awake at that, pulling back a bit. He finds Geralt’s face in the dim light, his eyes bright in the dark. “What if I don't?” he asks, defiant.

“Then I’ll say it again,” Geralt says, and Jaskier’s breath rushes out of him as Geralt leans forward. His lips brush along Jaskier’s cheek. “And again,” skim along his nose, press to his other cheek. Chasing away the tear streaks there. “And again.” A chaste press to his lips, barely a breath. Jaskier feels it in his toes. Geralt pulls back, just enough to look at him. “Until you do,” he finishes. “Or until we die, I guess, or you decide it’s not worth it. I wouldn’t blame you.”

Jaskier laughs wetly. He’s not entirely sure that he’s not dreaming. Maybe he froze to death in his broken little room, or fell into a feverous delirium from his infected wounds in that cell in Oxenfurt. Maybe he tripped down the mountain and broke his neck, and this has all just been the last fleeting imaginations of a dying man. It feels real, though. Geralt’s breath is hot against his face, and he feels so tired it seems unlikely that he could be dreaming. “I guess we’ll find out in the morning,” he says, and lies back down to curl into Geralt’s chest. It feels like a challenge, and he holds his breath as he waits.

Geralt settles back down next to him, with a sigh that sounds fond instead of exasperated. Jaskier wonders if he could find a way to fit the sound into a song. “In the morning,” Geralt agrees, and Jaskier smiles.

It doesn’t feel like healing, not quite. But it feels like the start.

[izzy-hands]

so, [dons her geraskier tinted glasses]

the fact that geralt straight up ignores jaskier’s presence during the final battle has been niggling at me for weeks and i’ve been struggling to reconcile it with what we know about geralt. because, putting the mountain incident aside, geralt has always protected jaskier? whenever jaskier was in danger he would rush to his side in a heartbeat, literally from day one. not even acknowledging him until the battle is practically over makes no sense to me whatsoever? 

i was watching the episode again last night and yennefer said this - 

voleth meir is more personal than that. she's more specific. she finds your weakness, the gaping wound in your heart, the thing that makes you feel hopeless, and she plunges her finger into it and makes it hurt so badly, you'd do anything.

which got me thinking. what if ignoring jaskier was really geralt’s way of protecting him? he knew that showing any concern for jaskier would shift voleth meir’s focus from him and ciri to jaskier. there was so much still broken between the two of them, that gaping wound in his heart that yen was talking about. so much hurt for voleth meir to draw her power from. 

so, he ignores him. not giving any indication that the bard is important to him. doing everything he can to keep voleth meir’s gaze away from him. praying to the gods that one of his brothers will make sure he’s safe. that he would take the damn hint and get the hell away from there. hoping that for once in his life the bard would stay away from the fight and put himself first instead of geralt. 

[jaskefer]

Geralt’s thumb glides across Jaskier’s hand like a map. 

Tracing over veined rivers and bruised knuckle mountains, he moves slowly, committing the route to memory. It’s only been a year, yet there’s a litany of unfamiliar journeys etched into his palm. “I could have stopped it,” he says, lowly. 

Jaskier shakes his head. “None of that, now,” he soothes. His words are soft, but they crack against his teeth like aging mortar. “You didn’t know.”

He says it so simply. Like ignorance is all there is to it. Like it absolves Geralt of responsibility. 

He says it so simply, he could almost convince Geralt that he believes it.

Almost.

Jaskier’s skin seems to scream up at him, marred red from past fire and present ice alike. Geralt smothers his crackling fears long enough to press his lips against that anger. "I could have come back for you," he murmurs. A poor excuse for a salve.

The words are but a hum against his fingertips, but Jaskier feels them rattle down to his bones. His hand is trembling in Geralt’s own, and it takes a considerable amount of effort for him to get his own mouth working. “Would you?” he croaks. 

It’s hardly more than a whisper, but it strikes against Geralt’s ears like a stone to his back, and he forces himself to look up. “Would I what?”

Jaskier gazes down at him with shimmering eyes. “Come back,” he says. “For me. On that mountain. You know, if you had known that something like this could happen. Would happen.”

Did happen, he doesn’t add.

Geralt’s answer is immediate and sharp. “Of course I would.” 

The words that linger on Jaskier’s tongue trip over a sudden laugh on their way out. The sound splinters as it spills from his throat, landing shattered and broken at Geralt’s feet. “You know,” Jaskier says after a moment, almost breathless, “if you had promised me anything else, I just might have believed you.”

Geralt frowns at him. Confused, not angry. Before his hollow courage can slip, Jaskier presses on. “I’ve spent… half my life trailing after you,” his voice wobbles. “Despite what the world might try to say, I know who you are. And I’ve no doubt you’d have tried to save me, if you could.” He spares a second to chuckle. “Ever the hero, you were. Are,” he adds, softer.

And gods, even now, fondness chokes Jaskier’s words like a vice. It burns a fresh wound in his mouth, falls like ashes from his lips. He bites his tongue, relishes in the sharp tang of anger that swells against his teeth, and swallows it all down to the pit of his stomach. Dead, gone, and buried before it can bloom.

It’s far from the first time he’s made a grave of himself.

Geralt is still holding his hand. There’s an ache around the knuckles where his lips had been pressed. “But?”

Jaskier’s lips twist into a grimace of a smile. “But I’ve also seen you change,” he says. “For the better, I’d like to think. You… care about people. And you don’t want to see them get hurt.”

The fingers over Jaskier’s hand tighten, gently. “You’re one of those people, Jaskier,” Geralt says, and it’s too kind, too intimately unfamiliar. “You know that, right?”

Jaskier sniffs. “Maybe I do,” he admits. “But at the end of the day, Geralt... you’ve come back for everyone but me.”